There are a lot of reasons why relationships have problems and could leave one looking for how to stop a break up. Entire books have been written on the subject, and we’re certainly not going to go over them all. There is no single book that could. Just be aware that all relationships are unique with their own unique issues and we’re just going to go over some of the popular ones.
Relationships consist of two couples and two interpretations of the ‘give and take’ value system. We all have this value system in our minds, yet it’s rarely discussed. It is secret, implicit and largely unconscious. It is what we believe are the standards and behaviors that each partner should expect and fulfill.
Subconsciously we tend to believe that our own feelings and needs are most important, and our internal value system reflects that. Unfortunately, this type of thinking can certainly lead to the following popular relationship problems:
Insecurity
Those that are insecure tend to think that their partner is going to leave or start to look for something better. This way of thinking brings about all sorts of issues like: lack of trust, suspicion and even accusations.
The results of insecurity can bring a once loving relationship to an uneasy and unhappy experience for both partners. Eventually this can lead to the very thing that it is supposed to prevent – a break up.
Self Unhappiness
Some say that breaking up makes people happier after they leave an unfulfilling relationship, but these people fail to take into account the emotional attachment that has been gained over the course of the relationship. Moreover, they fail to identify what made the relationship unfulfilling in the first place.
The unhappiness in the relationship may very well have nothing to do with the relationship itself and more with the person that is unhappy. There are many factors that might contribute to this unhappiness.
These factors include:
Depression - the symptoms of depression do not necessarily diminish with breaking up. Actually, they can often get worse.
Low self confidence – people with lower self confidence tend to be unhappier and can take their frustrations with themselves out on those closest to them.
Unhappiness toward physical self – this is referring to those that are unhappy with their body or appearance in some way. This unhappiness can often translate into a relationship problem that affects both parties.
Unfair expectations – sometimes people have an ideal picture in their mind of how their partner should be. If this ideal isn’t met, they’re not happy. Of course, many times this ideal picture only includes one person’s ideal point of view.
All of the above problems can be wrongfully mistaken as a relationship problem, but the true source of the problem is with the individual. Ending a relationship in many of these cases won’t result in more happiness. This specific issues need to be addressed before you can maximize your happiness, with or without your partner.
Money, Money, Money
Money can be a big problem in relationships. This problem doesn’t typically surface until later in the relationship or even in marriage.
In the beginning there really aren’t any money issues other than the expectations of who pays for what on dates. However, as the relationship progresses and you’re both starting to plan a future together, each couple will start to pay more attention to how the other one spends money.
It really doesn’t matter who earns the money, each partner will likely have their own plan for how the money should be spent and saved. If either side should sway from the plan, this could spell trouble. This can (and often does) lead to relationship troubles.
Now, money problems in a relationship can be both an individual problem and a relationship problem.
For example, it is more of an individual problem in cases where someone thinks that they reserve the right to buy nice (but unneeded) things for themselves before the necessities are purchased. On the other hand, it’s a relationship problem when each couple is doing their best and still cannot pay for the basic necessities. The resolution is different depending on which one you’re dealing with, but both can lead to arguments.
These are three common problem areas in relationships that tend to get blown out of proportion and create a major wedge between two loving couples. Perhaps you see some of these problems in your relationship. It’s best not to worry about how to stop a break up, and instead just try focusing on how to work together to recognize and then resolve the issues affecting your relationship.
I suffered many of these same issues in my relationship. In fact, my partner walked out on me due to the lack of communication and my ignorance of what was impacting our relationship.
See how I won my partner back!